I don't think I'll ever be able to eloquently put into words what I learned in Africa, how I changed and how my life shifted completely after three months in Rhino Camp Refugee Settlement. What I do know are these things and I pray to God I will carry them with me for the rest … Continue reading What I Learned in Africa
Heart ripped Seams split It seems I've slipped into the wave Drawn under by the current Rushing rushing Faster than the tears could possibly spill from my frozen face Pained with the parting I'm not sure who is shaking Bodies wracked by sobs Her or me Him or me I just know we have become … Continue reading 090118
We went to another funeral today. Arriving, the wails filled the air Grief in tears streaming down their faces. Only 18, too soon. Hundreds gathered to mourn, their bodies surging together to the beat of the drums. Slowly faces lighten and cries turn to song and dance - but again reality hits and another must … Continue reading 082218
Plans changed Futures rearranged Obedience over sacrifice, so I sing to you to show me how - when what I want doesn't match your will before me.
Almost a year to the day of when my son would have tasted his first breaths did I taste mine when I gave you my life to use and to redeem from my shame-stained, miserable memories of a broken past Aching to see your hands. Now we are four years later and it just now … Continue reading 072018
day one in rhino
the Kingdom is in the Crown is about ME. It's about YOU. And it's continued to change my life over the past nine months ; my prayer is it will change yours, too.
It seems there is no middle ground between passivity and aggression, so in reclaiming what has been "stolen," we place men's balls in an ironclad bear trap ; and yet we wonder why we have so many boys instead of men.
Among the butt floods, shortage of feminine hygiene products, facial breakouts and narrowly avoiding the plague, I find my reason every day. Maybe not in every breath, but I see it every day.
A couple months ago, after learning about Nehemiah in class, I was convicted to commit to rebuilding a city. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know where and I didn’t know when - but I knew in my spirit the task was mine. A few weeks after, having prayed for any clarity on the subject, … Continue reading My Name is Jerusalem
After a week in the classroom learning about Eschatology, God’s goodness has begun to truly permeate my every ounce and atom. Yet I doubt. I wrestled this morning, realizing my doubt was not in the people around me nor in the Father. And it made me frustrated ! I have often been ashamed of my … Continue reading My Flesh is Not My Enemy
This past week, Seth Barnes visited us in Spain. Prior to arriving, he gave us some homework, calling us to think more about the life we want to live & how to get to that point. One of the questions asked us to write our own eulogy. In class, he asked for a volunteer to … Continue reading “It’s either do it or don’t and I’m ALWAYS going to do it.”
“Do you love her ? There’s forgiveness, but do you love the Corrie that made those choices ?” With a searing crash, I stopped dead in my tracks. My mind spun out of control in an instant and I broke, falling into Trish’s arms. “No one has ever asked me that before. I didn’t know … Continue reading Do You Love Her ?
My whole life prior to Jesus, I believed two lies about myself ; I am too much and I am not enough. Growing up in a family where everyone has a cocktail of mental illness, I believed feeling too much made me too much to handle. On the opposite side of things, I was always … Continue reading There is No Balance in Only
I didn’t ask for this
My mind waging war on my soul
My heart dripping in the in-between
It seems there is no middle-ground for how much we say the words “I love you” - either it is overused or hidden deep within the cockles of our been-hurt-too-much hearts.
Where do you stand ?
A bit about the wild child traipsing this earth.
The days grow near to union Yet my soul still cries out to my babies sand between their toes bean toots and posso thorns, berries new tick balls, ripped clothes Early morning sounds that defied reason and nature Yet I long to return. Is it for me or me for it ? Do I just … Continue reading 101918
I don't have to agree But what is this response that isn't me ? Passive Aggressive Non-confrontational That's not me Cast it off Break the agreements So that I may give what I have And not scrape blindly At what I do not
All of a sudden it's real And I couldn't be happier Also the snail. What life is birthed In sweet union of spirits kissed Yes yes yes I'll never change my answer Mountaintop moments Memories that will last as long as my breath Body shaking A simple question My heart longed to answer for so … Continue reading 091618
A week gone by and still it grips me with talons of wrath, misdirected at the only ones willing to turn all upside down. I reject guilt, but mourn the possibility of burning a bridge to my frist babies to live. So many things to ponder, yet I find myself busying my every moment in … Continue reading 091518
Oh sweet reunion But my faith is low How to talk about What could tear us apart ? I'm home times two Thank you, finally. Whoever you are.
"How did you know ?" I ponder the question, rolling it around in my hand like I do Posso to cool it down. How do I know ? Is he who he says he is ? Does he believe it ? Does he see you are a shining diamond ? Does he believe it beyond … Continue reading 090618
Another day There's always something special I suppose the breath in my lungs is it today That and the warm showers While short lived They are nonetheless invigorating Which is good, because I'm doubting everything today. My joy is hiding Because I doubt
All work and no play I don't remember the end But I remember it was boring Pool and fish and chips and sun A little bit of whiskey to get the job done Grateful for friends but not distance between Hard to imagine I'll be with so many so soon I feel aimless toay and … Continue reading 090418
Temper tantrum, 28 Got my way but don't feel great My flesh overtook the spirit of grace Now I'm hesitant to show my face Shame shame, go away You're a lie, you have no say A repentant heart s what I give So you can help me better live.